Week 11 - Rollercoaster

Highs, Lows and Uncertainty

This week was full of highs, lows and uncertainty. To say that pregnancy is an emotional (and physical) rollercoaster is a massive understatement!

High

I spent the earlier part of the week preparing for a surprise pregnancy announcement party I’m having for family on the weekend. I found a really fun way of announcing the news – more details in my next blog post!

I was spending Friday night at my sister’s house, which is where the party will be hosted on Saturday. I was so excited to share the news with my niece and nephew! They knew all about my previous hopes to adopt a child, and have been excited at the prospect of a new cousin for a very long time. They were ecstatic to say the least, and everyone was guessing the baby’s sex, and trying to guess what names I may have picked out. My heart was full!

Low

Amidst the excitement at this pre-party announcement, I excused myself to go to the washroom. I was stunned when I saw blood in my underwear. My heart dropped into my stomach. It may have even stopped for a moment. Just outside the bathroom door, everyone was celebrating the joyous news I’d just shared. What does the bleeding mean? Am I going to lose this pregnancy? The timing seemed cruel. There was still the big reveal party planned for my extended family the next day.

I cleaned myself up and went to find my sister, trying so hard to keep my face from crumpling in front of the kids. In private, with my sister, I burst into tears. She comforted me and reminded me that spotting doesn’t necessarily mean there is a problem with the pregnancy. Intellectually I knew that was true. But damn, when it’s happening, it’s scary as all hell.

By this time it was 10pm – both my fertility clinic and my doctor’s office were closed. I called TeleHealth in hopes of speaking with a nurse, to see if there was anything I should/could do. Someone at the call centre answered my call, and took my information, but said that a nurse would have to call me back later when someone was available. WTF?! I was baffled by the operator’s lack of urgency. I hung up the phone, curled up in a ball, and fell asleep. I missed a call from the nurse that came in at 2am.

Uncertainty

I woke up around 6am, and the bleeding seemed to have subsided. Mostly. I did more Googling, trying to find some article or advice that would put my mind at ease. The general consensus was that if the bleeding was heavy enough to soak a sanitary pad within an hour, you should seek medical attention. Thankfully, my bleeding had not been that heavy. I was starting to feel a little bit better… but a far cry from feeling happy and excited and ready to announce my happy news to my unsuspecting family.

High

As I continued to scroll maternal health web pages, my email inbox chimed with a new message. My NIPT results had arrived! OMG universe, you sure are keeping me on my toes! My worries about the spotting were temporarily suspended, and I excitedly opened the email from Invitae. It read:

“Your negative result indicates that no chromosomal abnormalities were detected and your pregnancy is not at an increased risk for the conditions screened. A negative NIPS result provides a great deal of reassurance, but it’s important to remember that NIPS is not a diagnostic test. This means it can only provide an estimate of risk, not a definitive answer.”

The report also provided this breakdown:

I breathed a massive sigh of relief. It looks like this little baby is genetically healthy. I scrolled further down the email… there was a link to a video for the gender (sex) reveal! Eeeeep! I clicked the link and waited with anticipation.

“CONGRATULATIONS! You’re having a BOY!!!”

OMG! A boy? A boy! I’m going to be a boy Mom! A boy. Wow.

I sat and cried happy tears and watched the video again.

Uncertainty

My extended family was coming over later that morning for the brunch party. They had no idea there would be a special announcement. With the NIPT results in hand, and now knowing the sex of my baby, everything was feeling very real. I decided to push the worry about spotting aside for now. I wanted to celebrate this wonderful news with my family. I wanted them to know and share in my joy. Or, god forbid, if things were to take a turn for the worse, they could be there to comfort and support me.